Monday, February 27, 2006
CALLING ALL KIDS-HE HOG THE ATOMIC PIG
He Hog is the world's most powerful pig. He has the coolest super powers ever:
X-Ray nipples- they emit twin beams of laser energy that can slice through butter.
Finger and Thumb breath: He can flip light switches on and off with them.
Atomic smoothocity: So smooth is his perfect rind, that pants won't stick to him!
Ultra Tasteocity: He has the world's most sensitive taste buds, tasting substances never before discovered.
He can taste guilt-he frequently donates this talent to the Police Line-Up downtown.
He has super-suavity. Girls love him!
He only has one weakness. While kryptonite is the one substance that can weaken Superman, the only thing that can stop He Hog is marmalade on his butt. But try and get it on there!
This is his teenaged sidekick--Half Life The Decaying Molecule. He has no thrilling powers. He's just there so the criminals can kidnap him and hold him for ransom from He Hog. He Hog loves him as if he were one of his very own molecules-which actually he is!
He Hog has many arch-enemies.
This is Mr. Meat.
Mr.Meat has the power of meat. He was raised by meat. He can summon meat to his bidding. He is determined to free meats from all over the world and give them voting rights.
He has a love-hate relationship with He Hog. On the one hand, he loves him-because He Hog is the greatest collection of meats in the world-a mess of super meats!
On the other hand he hates He Hog for not releasing his meats... for enslaving them to his skeleton.
Mr. Meat is slightly unhinged.
Whattaya think? Wanna hear more?